My World has Flipped Upside Down

I cannot begin to express just how the rebuilding of my life is going.  It’s going well, and it looks nothing like the broken pieces that were strewn about in February.  I still struggle with the flashbacks of my past, but I am making actual changes to embrace my beautiful present and future.  I have…

Proud of my Salmon Patties

I had no intentions of blogging tonight, let along about food, but I am too proud of myself to keep it to myself! After speaking with a co-worker about salmon patties today, and googling various styles to find healthy recipes to make this week, I took the plunge.  I made salmon patties from a recipe…

Making My Own Decisions

I’ve made so many life altering decisions in three short months, but my head isn’t spinning.  I feel calm, centered, and determined.  I had a habit of running all of my ideas past people I respected, and then I’d get easily deterred if they didn’t agree with my viewpoint.  I struggled with not feeling understood. …

Well it was just my ‘magination

My friend always says I have a wild imagination, so I’ll tell you about the time I fell for a guy I don’t know in 72 hours.  Stay with me, because I am about to take you backwards and then make a point.  I have been dreaming a lot lately.  As a result of my…

I Held a Child and his Face Looked Just Like Yours

I reunited with a friend I refused to speak with for almost 10 years.  During an argument, she said I would die alone with 50 cats in response to me checking up on her regarding something personal a mutual friend had shared with me.  She was upset that I called her on something she did…

The Shame of Acceptance

I have a habit of downplaying myself because my life doesn’t look the way I dreamed it would. I haven’t exhaled yet. I keep feeling like I should have a certain loving relationship with my family like the one I had imagined in my mind. The older I got, the pain of “what isn’t” intensified….

The Rain Keeps Falling

It’s been raining a long time, but for the sake of this latest bleeding heart entry, it’s been 30 days.  It was raining when my partner in crime threw me out.  I had no umbrella that night, so it rained literally and figuratively on my world.  The only thing I understand is that my fear…

Decluttering the Mind

I went on an apology spree because this part of the Lord’s Prayer had backfired, “Forgive us of our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us”.  I realized I had unhealthily been blocking myself from moving on by holding grudges.  I remember leaving my friendship with my best friend from high school in…

Putting Me First

I have reached a fork in the road.  One where I could continue on the road I am on, or take the other road and follow my dreams.  My dreams seem impossible.  They seem far and damn near impossible.  When I close my eyes to go to sleep, I can feel my dreams come alive…

Pushing Past “Well….”

What do I mean by pushing past “Well…”?   “Well…” is when I proclaim, “Well at least I’m not out here shooting everybody!”; “Well at least I didn’t eat the whole cake!”; “Well at least I didn’t cuss her all the way out!”.  It means cradling myself with mediocre excuses.   Well is comprised of the…